Ever Swiped Right or Left on someone....After 3 years of being off the market, I was shocked to see the type of men that are out there!
So Recently I have found myself single. Like officially single, Facebook and all. It wasn’t working out and hadn’t been working out for months. So, once it became official I was ready to get back on the dating scene. I had been off my game for three years and I felt I was ready. My ex and I had actually met on Tinder. I know, I know cliché enough but still. So of course, I figured I would start there. Boy was it a mind blower. Here are some of the things I experienced.
So just like a Walmart you have to make the choice to go to the store. I choose to sign up for three of the major sites. They looked decent and got great reviews. Kind of like a really “nice” Walmart. Looks harmless on the outside right. So, I signed up for these sites. Went through all this personal info, getting to know you questions and would you rather questions. Some of them are really out there. What is something that you geek out about? what are your goals? where can you find yourself on Saturday night? And it’s not like you can be honest about these either. Like to be honest Saturday night I’m usually on my couch or in bed, ugly hair, fan blowing watching Netflix and drinking my 3rd glass of wine. Come on what man really wants to get with that! Back to the main point. So, after filling these things out to make myself looking more appealing than the actual truth, I was finally in what I like to call “the main floor of Walmart”. DUHN DUhn Duhn! You can wither swipe left or swipe right! Now I’m not one to judge based on looks ill read what they decided to write about themselves and see what I like or don’t like. So, my very first one that I swiped was cute, younger and tall SWIPE L. Next one was a small little man with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth. Let’s talk about this. MEN IT IS NOT A TURN ON TO SEE YOU KILLING YOURSLEF WITH NICOTINE. NOR IS IT SEXY TO BE SMOKING WHILE YOUR TAKING A SELFIE. Have some class please. Now I will give it to the men that pulled off a cigar while golfing. That is one thing.
So after countless swipes left and right I thought I’ve seen it all, men doing back flips, men on a boat, men taking bathroom selfies, men in uniform (don’t mind that one) men playing video games, men smoking with the smoke coming out of their nose (ewww), men trying to look cool while posing with statues, men with long ass beards that aren’t well groomed, men posing with their moms and grandmas…and so much more. Then I get to the walmartest people I have ever seen. I mean the men who were on the toilet, men who where shirtless with huge beer bellies, men in man thongs, men with blow up sex dolls. I was shocked. So, I did what any normal girl would do…. I took snap shots of them and showed them to my friendsJ
We got way too many laughs over these. And just like Walmart, you can’t turn away. You can’t leave the app because you know more funny things are coming. You just have to put the phone down and get back to work, but when you need a good laugh you know you can always go back and swipe.